Spring Means Allergies

Allergies... Itchy throat, runny nose, dry cough..the oak trees are in bloom. Everything is covered in yellow green pollen. Allergies. I went to the store and  stocked up in Zyrtec, Benadryl and Claritin. Allergies.
The wind is blowing, my eyes are itchy and watering. I am stuffed up and snoring extra loud at night. Allergies. Called the allergist to make my appointment.
People move to Florida and claim,"I don't have allergies."  Don't worry, you will soon. We have high pollen count year round, but in the spring time its goes off the chart. Now you would think that a good rain would help to reduce the pollen count. But it actually encourages the trees to produce more pollen faster. Ok I made that part up.  But the rain just washed the pollen down the driveway to make room for all the new pollen to settle on everything. If you see me in a sneeze-fest... beware, my sneezing gets loud, and your liable to get wet. Sorry its just the truth. One day I think my violent sneezing is going to throw my head back and forward so hard I am going to get whiplash. Is it true that your heart stops when you sneeze? No it is not true. Just in case you heard that myth.
I have always joked that I am going to purchase stock in Kleenex to redeem some of my money. I have no less than five boxes of tissues open in the house at one time. I can't make it to the other side of the house when the sneezes hit me. And I don't just sneeze once, or twice. No... I sneeze five, seven or more times. My sneezing stops me dead in my tracks and all I can do is wait for the next one to hit.  I have been accused of sneezing loudly to gain attention. How dumb. But those of you that do not suffer this dustmite, pollen infused, bloom dance have no idea what a  blessing you have. Do not judge those of us with loud nose blowing, violent sneezing and mouth breathing problems, but do pass the tissues would you please? Allergies.

This is Girl Schmuck signing off.