They call it crack. I call it Happy Time

Remember this: A real girl friend won't bail you out of jail. She will be sitting next to you in the cell laughing about how much fun it was.
This Post is dedicated to Kimbo who stole saltines for me when we were in
elementary school together. Ok, she didn't really steal them for me, but I caught her and the she had to share. Maybe she took what the teachers didn't eat for lunch.  Actually I don't really know.. she just told me she stole them. No, that's not right either, she was too busy eating to be talking...anyways
 I love her just the same. And I ate them too.

So who doesn't love a good saltine cracker? We have all put cheese on them. Made little peanut butter sandwiches out of them. But it takes a genius to take a cracker and turn it into crack.  Lemme explain.

Guys, you are going to have to leave the room a moment.  Girls, when its that time of the month you want SALT, CHOCOLATE and NOW.  This here is it. Its legal crack. The recipe is called "Saltine Toffee cookies". They are not cookies. But you can find the recipe at and type in the above name in their search bar and it will bring it up for you. I want to show you how easy it is. First one sleeve of saltine crackers laid out nice. (Oh tell the guys they can come back in now, in case they want to surprise you with this lovely homemade crack)

I am using a stone bar pan from Pampered Chef. I am not plugging .. ok I am plugging because I use to sell their products and I love the stuff. Non-stick metal pans would be a gamble, but you can try it.

See how I figured out how to adjust the white balance on my camera so the pictures are not yellow? My photos are getting better. 

Lets move on to the second step.

One cup of brown sugar and one cup of butter in a pan. This part they did not tell me: melt slow on medium heat and bring to a boil. They just said boil it for three minutes. That doesn't work because the brown sugar has to melt and get happy with the butter. Then boil for three minutes.
As soon as it done (its not suppose to be gritty) pour it over the crackers and spread with the back of a spoon. Do not put the spoon in your mouth, its the temperature of molten lava

Throw the gooey mess in the oven for only 5 minutes. At 400 degrees
See... Fast right?

While the carmel is making the crack-ers happy in the oven, pour out 2 cups of semi sweet chocolate chips and then one cup of nuts. If you don't like nuts don't use 'em.  My chocolate chips had bloom on them, so it was time for me to be using up my chippies. I used pecans because that is what I like and when I tend to put nuts on things, there is less people eating what I like. Don't feel much like sharing today.

Quick like lightening pull the crack out of the oven and throw the chips on the hot carmel goo. I like the word GOO today. Just do, don't know why. Just let them set a moment and the heat will make them melt. Mine wouldn't spread.. but my carmel wasn't perfect either (don't matter cause I am gonna eat it up anyways)
I just finished a book with dialect in the text. I can't get it out of my head, so sorry about talking like I'm Brer Rabbit.
If you have never read Brer Rabbit, as soon as your done go find a copy of Brer Rabbit and the Tar Baby.

I am proud to tell you that this is easy even for those of us who never made crack before. I am suppose to to tell you that you are suppose to let it cool and then break into pieces. I snatched a piece up and stuck it in the freezer and then yelled "Ready or not here I come".  Its Happy Time.
I am  happy to report that I can put an entire crack-er in my mouth without it touching the sides so I don't get any crumbs on my mouth or clothes. I guess that's why we never got caught eating someone elses saltines so many years ago?  My mom would be so proud. I miss my mama. Mom read me Brer Rabbit. Time to go.
This is Girl Schmuck signing off.


  1. This sounds really good! I have had this before but it wasnt called crack, I like your name, its funny! I could have used some chocolate and salt a few days ago (and you know how much I hate salt)!
    You will have to come over and do some shopping at Missy's mini mart! LOL! Thanks for always leaving comments on my blog post :)

  2. Thanks missy for letting me come shopping at the mini mart, I do want to come for a visit.

  3. THIS is even better than "free" Saltine crackers "found" on a teacher's desk! ;-) I know those teachers didn't want those crackers anyway and we were doing a public service by disposing of them in an ecological manner (sounds, good, right?) - nothing to throw out but the plastic wrapper. :-) I might try to do this recipe on my own one day!

  4. KMo, You know your just faster than the wind when it came to "finding" things. It was all the gym and karate that you gained your speed. You can do this recipe on your own one day. I know you can. Feed it to the kids just before they go to grandmas house for the day. Ha ha.